I love you, I hate you

blog1Most of you readers have met some people sporting tattoos on their hands that read ” love” on one hand and “hate” on the other and although sometimes we recoil from such distasteful display and may feel secretly a bit frightened of encountering such individuals in darker alleys, there is something to be said about the message that is actually conveyed. More to the point, there may be some truth to the blunt visual statement that is in our face delivered from some strange knuckles.

For the longest of time we have been told that hate is not an acceptable feeling, religions in general and in particular Judeo-Christian creeds have enforced a dual separation of good and evil attributing the latter to Satan and the former to God. Hence, hate had become an emotion stemming directly from the Devil and therefore punishable primarily by the guilt that we are still feeling when we sometimes hate the ones we love.

It is highly time that this notion of forbidden emotion be corrected. Love and Hate are two sides of the same coin. They belong together as opposites in the same way that night belongs to day, light to dark, cold to hot, masculine to feminine, ect…my point is: one cannot exist without the other.

As human beings we too are a duality, we live between sets of opposites where we have to find a comfortable enough place to operate from. And sometimes we do feel dislike and hate: these are natural feelings that should not be repressed but acknowledged and accepted as part of our psychological and emotional make-up.

So when a mother finds herself hating her new baby or her child, spouse, friend, parents or siblings from time to time, for any reasons, it is rather best to accept the feeling in the knowledge that it is by no means a permanent feature but a moment in time, a passing moment at that…it is a moment in recognised humanity and to push it under the rug as unacceptable makes it a dangerous entity as it spreads and festers unknowingly in the individual psyche. This is how we end with domestic violence and child abuse and murder and road rage to name just a few.

So the next time you encounter a Love and Hate tattoo, remember that it speaks a fundamental truth about who we all are and deserve private recognition of existence because ultimately we do love and hate both at once.