You feel awful, ashamed of yourself for feeling that way and guilty for not being able to shake it off. Everything seems fine in your life and for all intent and purposes you look like you are cruising along in your work, relationships, the lot…So what’s wrong? What is this feeling of emptiness that from time to time threatens to swallow you whole and really you don’t know what is going on and why you are feeling so low when there are no apparent reasons for it.
The fact is you might be suffering from depression, that may be one possibility. The other option is that something unresolved in your life is threatening your equilibrium and demands energetically to be addressed. Otherwise, well it is going to become unmanageable pretty quickly and if you are not depressed now there is a good chance that you will become just that and in a pretty short time too, or anxious, or manic, or something disagreeable with a long complicated name…the black dog of your servitude.
But it does not have to be that way. It is your choice and even if you think that asking for help from a professional is an admission of failure; I have got news for you: it isn’t. For your own sake it is now very important that you make the effort of changing your perspective on this: to go visit a counsellor/therapist because you feel bad about yourself, and I mean bad enough that it is difficult to bear at times, that your friends are starting to ask questions or that you cannot control your anger/sadness/crying/desperation, is the first step to recovery. Not that you are sick mind, simply we all at one stage or another in our lives need professional help. Because if we had the expertise to heal ourselves we would never need anybody else, right?
So stop feeling bad and approach this with a clear mind: you’ ve done everything you could, the best you could to get out of this enigma, time to gather strength and as we say there is strength in number. Don’t dread seeing a therapist, be afraid of not seeing one and what it is going to do to you. Say it aloud to yourself: I cannot do anything anymore on my own, I need help. Feels good, doesn’t it?