INTIMACY is a frightening word for many people, it is however the only proven mean to have fulfilling relationships. Here are 3 tips to go by to increase your skills at intimacy:
1) Accept that to be intimate you have to be vulnerable and that is another word that tends to frighten people away so may be it is worthwhile explaining what it means to be vulnerable. I will start by stating what it does not mean which is that vulnerable is to be weak. In fact it is the opposite of being weak. To be vulnerable requires strength and resilience because it implies that one accepts the inherent potential for being hurt that is part and parcel of being in a relationship that engage our deeper emotions: when we love we get hurt,and as Bob Marley said “…we have to choose the right person to be hurt by…” it is as unavoidable as the rain get us wet despite an umbrella and as such it has to be embraced;
2) Respect your partner as you respect yourself and learn to negotiate: Respect is not a given, it has to be earned in my book but if you have already chosen to spend a good part of your life with someone, chances are you ‘ve already made an assessment of that person and it was positive enough that you’ve chosen to stay. So treat her/him the way you’d want to be treated, it is the least you can do to show your love…and negotiate: negotiation is all about collaboration, give and take…a bit for me ,a bit for you and so on. If it sounds very business like that is probably because the rules of good business apply when it comes to manage disagreements. A suggestion though: wait until everybody has cooled down before you start negotiating: reason and emotions generally don’t work together well
3) laugh a lot together…at anything. I guess that speaks for itself…in doubt go see a funny movie.
With these 3 under your belt you might even make it to a golden anniversary…who knows!